“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
(Romans 12:2)

“It is a powerful step on anyone’s spiritual path when we thoroughly and completely understand that the only transformation possible is the transformation of our own unique minds.”
(Kathleen Singh)

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This is the third in a series of posts on empirical practices for re-formation of the soul.  I mentioned previously that this is an integrated process and any attempt to divide it is necessarily arbitrary.  Still, there is some value in breaking it down and so I am looking at four interrelated aspects: (1) Putting on virtues of the new self; (2) Putting off vices of the old self; (3) Renewing the mind; and (4) Growing through suffering.

Because the order doesn’t matter, I have decided to write in this post about Renewing the Mind.

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I was diagnosed with right temporal lobe epilepsy several months back after experiencing some weird episodes.  These would always start with a strange feeling like déjà vu, followed by a kind of brain freeze for several minutes during which I did not know where I was or what I was doing.  Afterwards, I had no memory of anything that happened during the event.  Tests identified the cause to be epileptic seizures, which damaged cells on the right side of my brain that control spatial matters.  Consequently, I have lost my sense of direction and memory of how to find places I once knew.  There has also been a concomitant loss in my memory of places I have been and what I did there.  I am truly fortunate to have received excellent medical care, and I am on a regime of anti-seizure drugs that seems to have things under control.  It is my understanding that even though parts of my brain have been damaged, it can create new neural pathways for storing future memories.

The brain is truly remarkable, but it is not the same as the mind.  The brain is a physical organ, whereas the mind is a non-physical construct that is used to refer to conscious thoughts, feelings, and memories, and the subconscious actions arising therefrom.  To be sure, the mind uses the brain to store and recall data and handle subconscious actions – which are the automatic responses we call habits.

From a Christian perspective, when a habit is good and right we call it a virtue, when it is bad and wrong we call it a vice. The goal of Spiritual Practice as I am using it in this series of posts is to create and strengthen virtues operating from our subconscious minds, and uproot vices therefrom.  As Dallas Willard wrote, “Very little of our being lies under the direction of our conscious minds, and very little of our actions runs from our thoughts and consciously chosen intentions. … Our training must therefore involve the purposeful disruption of our “automatic” thoughts, feelings, and actions.”(The Divine Conspiracy)

Renewal of the mind involves both conscious thoughts and subconscious actions.  To both learn and believe an idea is a renewal of the conscious mind.  To automatically respond accordingly is a renewal of the unconscious mind, otherwise known as the heart.  For the most part, there is not a lot we need to learn about virtues and vices insofar as knowing and understanding their respective goodness and badness.  For example, it is not new information for most people that patience is a good thing.  It is perhaps harder to really believe it is so.  And it is harder yet to embody patience in the heart as an automatic response.  Once again, renewing the mind involves both conscious thoughts and unconscious actions.

Spiritual wisdom of the ages has understood that re-formation of the soul involves transforming the mind.  The Biblical record has the Apostle Paul directing us to be, “transformed by the renewing of your mind.”  Modern neuroscience has doctors like Curt Thompson writing that, “New data strongly suggests that the brain can continue to develop new connections and networks of neurons.”  (Anatomy of the Soul)  And the field of spirituality has teachers like Kathleen Singh affirming that, “Our habituated patterns of mind, well-worn neural pathways, are where we need to focus our looking if we want to reclaim the power that we have given them.  Until we dismantle them, we are at their mercy.” (The Grace In Aging)

As the brain regulates our physical body, the mind regulates our conscious and unconscious thoughts and actions.  And just as the brain can form new neural pathways to rebuild a spatial memory lost by epilepsy, it also can form new neural pathways to re-form our habits.  Our role is to choose practices that keep our mind fixed on the goal.  God working through the mystery of our brain does the rest.

The practices that I have written about such as those involving the fruit of the Spirit do not by themselves re-form the soul.  A practice is really just the vehicle for stimulating our mind to think through what we really believe and how we really want to live.  When our thinking becomes aligned with our actions, real change happens.  N.T. Wright puts it thus, “Many people expect that virtue will happen to them automatically simply because they take part in the practices discussed here.  But the practices aren’t like the prescribed medicine that will cure you whether or not you understand how it works.  The key to virtue lies precisely, as we have seen, in the transformation of the mind.  The point is not that the practices are wrong, or inadequate, but that our conscious mind and heart need to understand, ponder, and consciously choose the patterns of life which these practices are supposed to produce in us and through us.  … That is a nonnegotiable part of the process.” (After You Believe)

As I mentioned at the outset, re-formation of the soul is an integrated and non-linear process.  It is also a paradox.  Does the practice change the mind, or does the mind start the practice?  Yes.  Does change occur through our efforts, or through the mysterious working of grace?  Yes.  Is change on us, or on God?  Yes.

In the remainder of this post, I will suggest some practices for renewing the mind that have helped me.  These are descriptive of my practice and not necessarily prescriptive for others.  I share them to stimulate your own thinking.

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Thinking about what we are Practicing

Thinking about our practice involves purposeful reflection on whatever virtue is being practiced.  Practice without such reflection will not renew the mind; nor will simply reflecting on a virtue without practicing it.  It takes both a committed practice and purposeful reflection.  The latter coming from thinking about questions that arise during our practice.  Some of these I mentioned in the previous post.

How do I stay focused on the virtue being practiced?

Do I stay committed when I am tested?

Do I really value the virtue?

What excuses do I make to justify ignoring it?

Where does the practice collide with my pride?

Reflecting on and wrestling with questions such as these can strengthen our beliefs and desire to live them out.  And gradually, ever so gradually, move them from the outer rings of our conscious mind to the inner core of our heart.

Thinking about what we are Thinking

Thinking about what we are thinking about is broader in scope than thinking about the practice of a specific virtue.  It involves being mindful of whatever thoughts are running through our mind.  We are thinking all the time.  Even when we are sleeping, there is brain activity that is vividly displayed in our dreams.  But when we are awake our mind is racing – often randomly and chaotically.  The curious thing is that most of the time we are unaware of what we are thinking about.

A personal example comes from the way I woke up for many years.  I would sit in the closet getting dressed and being angry at whatever came into my mind – having to get started so early, not having the right socks, bad weather for my drive to work, people who had hurt me, conflicts, politics, and so forth and so on.  These thoughts were like dripping poison onto my soul, but yet I was oblivious to what I was thinking about.  Then one day I realized I always started my day angry, and I had a revelation that I was using anger as a way to get going and wake up in the morning.  I had unintentionally developed a habit that was hidden in plain view.  Once I started thinking about what I was thinking about, I changed the pattern and moved away from angry thoughts first thing in the morning.  It also helped to remind myself that waking up was why they invented coffee!

We cannot always be thinking about what we are thinking about for obvious reasons, but we can practice this from time to time, particularly when we find ourselves angry or judging others.  Without awareness of what we are thinking about, bad habits are reinforced, and the mind stratifies.  Henri Nouwen wrote poignantly about this, “Anger, resentment, jealousy, desire for revenge, lust, greed, antagonisms, and rivalries … happen quite easily.  When I pay careful attention to what goes on in my mind from moment to moment, I come to the disconcerting discovery that there are very few moments during my day when I am really free from these dark emotions, passions, and feelings.”  What we are talking about here is mindfulness – being aware of what we are thinking about in any given moment.  It is a practice that is perhaps best discovered on our own.  However, it is an essential practice for spiritual growth.

Thinking about our Death

Thinking about our death is a focus on our mortality and by extension the wonderful gift of life while we have it.  This is a classic Christian practice, known as Memento Mori from the Latin phrase meaning “remember you must die.”  I have written about this previously because it can be a most powerful practice in the re-formation of the soul.  Memento Mori has had a variety of expressions over the centuries, but the one that has captured my imagination is as a meditation on what thoughts I will have in the final moments of my life.  This came to me in a terrifying moment of grace some years ago.

I was on a business trip when our plane hit extreme turbulence.  I was terrified as the plane shuttered and suddenly dropped.  I vividly remember thinking I was going to die.  Surprisingly, my feelings were mostly sorrow and remorse for all of the junk emotions, pettiness, and behavior in my life, and feeling an overwhelming love for those nearest and dearest to me.  This was an instantaneous meditation on death with a vision that when I die I would like to feel that I had loved well.  Episcopal priest Alan Jones writes, “Is it only in the presence of death that we can see so clearly what love ought to be like?  The answer of the believer is ‘Yes.’  It is for the sake of learning how to love and for no other reason that the believer is committed to looking death straight in the eye.  Facing death gives our loving force, clarity, and focus.  But how awful to discover what love ought to be like only at the end of one’s life, when it is too late.  …  The contemplation of our death helps us to discover what true love is.”  (Soul Making)

Seeing life as a gift comes into sharp focus when death seems imminent.  Ronald Rolheiser again, “Only when we sense that something is given to us but for a short time do we fully realize its gift dimension.  If, indeed, we knew that we were to die tomorrow, we should, on this our last day, quickly come to the realization of how precious are the gifts of life, friendship, love, health, and work.” (The Restless Heart)

I for one do not want to arrive at the last day or days of my life wishing I had lived and loved better.  The time for doing so is now, today, this minute.  This by the renewal of the mind.

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There is much mystery in how a person changes – how the mind is renewed, how habits are formed, how virtues are developed, and how vices are overcome.  Still, there can be little doubt that we are involved in the process.  That our thoughts, beliefs, and actions are essential to whatever transformation occurs.

There is also much mystery in what compels a person to make such changes in the first instance.  Perhaps it is an illness or tragedy that clarifies the fragility of life.  Perhaps it is weariness of pettiness and conflict, and a desire to be released from their burden.  Or perhaps it is regret for distressing others and the hope of becoming a blessing.  Regardless, for change to begin there must come a moment where whatever is urging us forward is greater than whatever is holding us back.  This is the turning point – where the promise of freedom exceeds the reality of stagnation.

When the turn occurs, those who follow the Biblical commands can be sure that the Lord whose commands we are following will be with us and set us free.  “If you obey my teaching, … you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32)  This doesn’t make it easy, but it does make it doable.  The river will still need to be crossed, but with God we can rest assured, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.” (Isaiah 43:2)

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